Cemel Dosce. Know thyself.
Everyone has the potential to be the hero or the villain in the story. And sometimes, even when we're trying to do what's right, others will see us as the villain, or when we're trying to ignore what we know is right we still end up the hero. Sometimes we don't feel we should be rewarded, or we feel as though we didn't do anything to deserve the praise we've received, but what it comes down to is that others will never see us the way we see ourselves.
I've spent years trying to figure out who I am. Years pushing people away, holding them at a safe distance - that which I felt was safer both for them and for myself. I was so afraid of the things I knew I could do that I never recognized the potential I had. Instead, I spent my time worrying over the wrongs I'd done. I've done many things in an attempt to serve penance for my sins, the wrongs I've committed, and in the end I'm coming to a peace. In the end, I'm realizing the only person left who needs to forgive me is me.
Until we forgive ourselves, we can never become the hero in our own stories. We must find the way to pay a penance only we can name before we'll ever find that peace we all long for. Things will never be perfect, nor will they be easy just because I've made my peace with my past. Considering my track record, I've got lots of rocky paths in my future - but it will all be worth it.
Rant over.
Pax vobiscum,
- zKhristy -
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